How to know yourself: Family

Finally, I am back to writing and continuing this series I have started. Enjoy your reading.

I never had a family that constantly fought and occasionally resorted to violence. I didn’t have an alcoholic father or an aggressive mother. While we had our own problems, I didn’t experience them directly as a child of that family. What I constantly felt was love and support. In this sense, I can say I’m quite lucky. It took me years to realize this luck because I used to think that everyone came from such happy families. For me, family has always been a top priority. For some, my love for solitude, my ability to find happiness on my own, and my reluctance to make an effort in relationships stem from this love. In other words, it’s all about finding satisfaction in love.

I feel fortunate. Fortunate to have grown up in such a family. However, I know that many of you did not have or could not have this fortune. The influence of the family on one’s development is significant. Like many problems, family is behind many positive steps as well. Therefore, examining your relationship with your family, recognizing both the good and the bad aspects, is important for making sense of life today.

Today, the questions we need to ask ourselves are as follows:

1. How do you define your relationship with your family?
2. Do your parents belong among the top 4 people you look up to and are most influenced by in your life? If so, why? If not, why not?
3. How was your experience in that family? What could have been better, what was missing, what was good?

While asking these questions, it’s also beneficial to consider the opposite. Are you giving unconditional love to a family that supports you unconditionally? Are you making your parents, who inspire you, feel that way? If you have children, are you trying to inspire them in the same way? Or, if your family is very different from who you are now and presents an obstacle, can you accept them as they are, taking their conditions into account? The answers to all these questions will bring you closer to your true self. It was a very useful self-exercise for me, and I hope it benefits you as well.